Okay. Quick Story:

It was September 13th, 2001. People were just starting to come out of their homes and restart some sort of normal life following the attacks of 9/11. I was at a little bar in Ely, Minnesota, shooting pool with one of my best friends in the world, when, much to my dismay, some dicknose decided it was a good idea to play Born in the USA! by Bruce Springsteen on the jukebox. I fucking LOATHE Bruce Springsteen.

The following was an actual conversation which actually happened:

ME: "Oh, for the love of God, I hate this fucking song!"

Jukebox Dicknose: "What? You some sort of Communis?" [He actually said, "Communis."]

ME: [mouth agape. long pause] "Uhh…no?"

Jukebox Dicknose: "Gotta support the troops, man!"

ME: "WHAT troops?" [this was two days after 9/11. There were, in fact, no troops to support, yet.]

Jukebox Dicknose: "Communis."

I then proceeded to drink shitloads of Jägermeister and smoke ungodly amounts of weed. I knew right then and there we were all in big, BIG trouble. Now look at us.

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